This morning, as I do most mornings, I was watching a bunch of random stuff on YouTube and came across this Colin and Samir interview with Lilly Singh. An almost-aside-comment from Samir really stuck with me: "What if you take an hour of time with a notepad and [answer] 'What would make me happy right now?'"
It's such a simple question, but it's one I've never really stopped to consider. I've never been someone who has thought about happiness. "Happy" isn't a factor in any of my decision-making. Is it interesting? Is it fun? Is it different? Would I learn something? Will it advance me toward my goals? Definitely. "Will it make me happy?" The word never really crosses my mind.
When I heard the question, my brain tuned out of the video. I had an immediate answer. What would make me happy right now? Creating something. Anything, really. It got me thinking about when I've been happiest in retrospect, and also about some conversations I've had with my coach over the last year. I'm happiest when I'm creating. Or sometimes even just thinking about creating.
I've never considered myself a creator or creative for a few reasons. The most obvious is "well there's so many people that are so much more creative than I am." Today, I realized there's a second layer to that. I don't have a medium that I consider myself confident or particularly skilled in. When I think of creators, they're creating. They have an output, usually in a specific medium.
I've always been envious of the people who've figured out how to express themselves. The people who can paint or draw or craft or create music or dance or write stories. They've always been the ideal, and an ideal I'd kind of given up on being able to achieve, because I've, for some reason, accepted the story that I'm more of a jack- (err... jenn-) of-all-trades and master of none. I'm a generalist. I like to do lots of things. I'm more of a handyperson than a creative.
But perhaps I'm assigning too much to "creative" or "creator." Maybe I need to lean into that part of myself a bit more and just start creating more stuff. Even if it sucks. I know from looking at the times I've been "happy" creating in the past, it wasn't because I created some masterpiece. It's because I love the process of doing a creative thing. The problemsolving. The possibility. The expression. The challenge.
- I covered a lot of the to-dos I had on my list like a huge backlog of laundry, watering plants, organizing some shelves in the kitchen.
- Another pretty Zoomy week at work. I felt like I was constantly playing catch-up because I had no breaks to get anything done.
- I got the first drawings back from the architect for some renovations I'm considering for my house. Spent a lot of time looking at the plans, thinking through options, doodling and Pinteresting.
- I spent an entire day going down the rabbithole of genealogy research. That's a story for another day.
Wins for the week:
- I cooked and ate breakfast every morning.
- I ate "real food" for the most part.
- I did small non-work things nearly every day
- I had a day off on Friday and did something interesting with that time.
- I didn't get the omicron.
- Still using my task tracking system.
Mehs for the week:
- I still watched a ton of TV.
- I didn't make the list of things to pick from when I'm looking for something to do.
Changes for next week:
- In the spirit of just "creating more," I'm going to try to write here every day next week. I have no idea what I'm going to write about, but it feels like a good exercise in "just do something."
- I had a lot of "spillage" last week where I added another 3-4 hours to my workday just trying to catch up or tie up loose ends. I'm going to give myself a 1-hour end-of-day timebox every day this week and anything else has to roll over to the next day. I may end up behind, but I think it'll also help in prioritizing and using my time better.
Goals for next week:
- Post here every day for a week.
- Pick 2 meals to make for the following week and buy the ingredients.
- Stay 'rona-free.